Category: The CW

chroniclesofcisco:

Oh where oh where can my cold powers be… a foe took ‘em away from me… Well, not me, Caitlin. But the Pearl Jam song in my noggin only works in the first person. Here’s the 411 – a meta named Melting Point stole the Killer Frost right out of Caitlin and I’m gonna find it if it kills me. The rub is that Melting Point doesn’t keep the powers he hijacks. He sends them to other unsuspecting people. What kind of freaking power is that? Imagine walking down the street eating a biscuit and suddenly you’re a meta-human! If only DeVoe hadn’t gotten to Melting Point I could ask him more about how to track down Caitlin’s powers. Looks like it’s all on me.

I fired up the old cold signature tracker and project ice-capade was in full effect. My first stop was a nail salon that was putting out mad sub-zero readings. I got duped into a mani, a pedi and something called crystal gel. Then the aesthetician (Iris and Caitlin say that’s what you call them) blasted my digits with liquid nitrogen to make the treatment “last longer.” A – I don’t want the treatment to last longer, B – There’s no way anything capable of absolute zero should be available to civilians, and C… I found the mani/pedi part of the experience rather enjoyable and I may or may not have purchased a membership.

After leaving the salon, I was $40 lighter and no closer to finding Caitlin’s frost. But I persisted. The next stop was Bubba’s garage. I purposely didn’t capitalize that, because Bubba is not a mechanic and his garage is not a business. I literally went to some dude named Bubba’s house and found him working in his garage. The nuts and bolts of that interaction was that Bubba’s an ice-pick connoisseur not a meta-human, and I am now an expert at Cisco-toned black-eye concealer. Suffice to say Bubba wasn’t much of a conversationalist.    

Four refrigerator chop-shops – who knew that was a thing – and a snow-cone maker later, I gave up. And now here I sit in front of my computer. The upside is that Pearl Jam has left my brain. The downside is that it’s been replaced by Vanessa Williams – Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for… is the one thing you can’t see… I have to type the words, because Caitlin is staring at me and if I sing that verse one more time she will very likely shoot me with an elephant tranquilizer.

chroniclesofcisco:

Oh where oh where can my cold powers be… a foe took ‘em away from me… Well, not me, Caitlin. But the Pearl Jam song in my noggin only works in the first person. Here’s the 411 – a meta named Melting Point stole the Killer Frost right out of Caitlin and I’m gonna find it if it kills me. The rub is that Melting Point doesn’t keep the powers he hijacks. He sends them to other unsuspecting people. What kind of freaking power is that? Imagine walking down the street eating a biscuit and suddenly you’re a meta-human! If only DeVoe hadn’t gotten to Melting Point I could ask him more about how to track down Caitlin’s powers. Looks like it’s all on me.

I fired up the old cold signature tracker and project ice-capade was in full effect. My first stop was a nail salon that was putting out mad sub-zero readings. I got duped into a mani, a pedi and something called crystal gel. Then the aesthetician (Iris and Caitlin say that’s what you call them) blasted my digits with liquid nitrogen to make the treatment “last longer.” A – I don’t want the treatment to last longer, B – There’s no way anything capable of absolute zero should be available to civilians, and C… I found the mani/pedi part of the experience rather enjoyable and I may or may not have purchased a membership.

After leaving the salon, I was $40 lighter and no closer to finding Caitlin’s frost. But I persisted. The next stop was Bubba’s garage. I purposely didn’t capitalize that, because Bubba is not a mechanic and his garage is not a business. I literally went to some dude named Bubba’s house and found him working in his garage. The nuts and bolts of that interaction was that Bubba’s an ice-pick connoisseur not a meta-human, and I am now an expert at Cisco-toned black-eye concealer. Suffice to say Bubba wasn’t much of a conversationalist.    

Four refrigerator chop-shops – who knew that was a thing – and a snow-cone maker later, I gave up. And now here I sit in front of my computer. The upside is that Pearl Jam has left my brain. The downside is that it’s been replaced by Vanessa Williams – Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for… is the one thing you can’t see… I have to type the words, because Caitlin is staring at me and if I sing that verse one more time she will very likely shoot me with an elephant tranquilizer.

chroniclesofcisco:

To breach or not to breach.  Cheese-factor aside, that’s seriously all that I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days since I was offered the job of a lifetime by Breacher.  Well, that and his Hawaiian-themed “I don’t give a damn” ensemble.  That… I will never allow myself to forget.

Still, could I really become Breacher 2.0?  Look at all the positives: I’d be the most fearsome badass across all 53 Earths, I’d get to see Gypsy ALL the dang time, and I’d finally fulfill my lifelong dream of dressing like Neo from The Matrix all day, err day.

This offer may check off all the boxes for my #lifegoals, but I do need more time to process it.  In the meantime, I need a serious distraction to take my mind off of it.  No, I’m not talking about another 12-hour “Fortnite” gameplay marathon at Casa de Ramon.  I need to have responsible adult Cisco this time.

As my luck would have it, Iris just asked me to perform some major upgrades on her recently dusted-off laptop.  This thing is so old.  Seriously! I think it still uses floppy disks.  Or, at the very least, it was built before Obama’s first term (keep in mind, that’s like two “Spiderman” reboots ago!  ANCIENT I tell you!)  

Iris refuses to let go of that laptop.  I even offered to vaporize it and build her a new one, but she kept telling me about it having some sentimental value or something.  So, I’ll swallow my techie pride and do it.  Because I’m a good frackin friend and it’s a distraction from the job offer.  CRAP.  Now, I’m thinking about it again…

chroniclesofcisco:

To breach or not to breach.  Cheese-factor aside, that’s seriously all that I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days since I was offered the job of a lifetime by Breacher.  Well, that and his Hawaiian-themed “I don’t give a damn” ensemble.  That… I will never allow myself to forget.

Still, could I really become Breacher 2.0?  Look at all the positives: I’d be the most fearsome badass across all 53 Earths, I’d get to see Gypsy ALL the dang time, and I’d finally fulfill my lifelong dream of dressing like Neo from The Matrix all day, err day.

This offer may check off all the boxes for my #lifegoals, but I do need more time to process it.  In the meantime, I need a serious distraction to take my mind off of it.  No, I’m not talking about another 12-hour “Fortnite” gameplay marathon at Casa de Ramon.  I need to have responsible adult Cisco this time.

As my luck would have it, Iris just asked me to perform some major upgrades on her recently dusted-off laptop.  This thing is so old.  Seriously! I think it still uses floppy disks.  Or, at the very least, it was built before Obama’s first term (keep in mind, that’s like two “Spiderman” reboots ago!  ANCIENT I tell you!)  

Iris refuses to let go of that laptop.  I even offered to vaporize it and build her a new one, but she kept telling me about it having some sentimental value or something.  So, I’ll swallow my techie pride and do it.  Because I’m a good frackin friend and it’s a distraction from the job offer.  CRAP.  Now, I’m thinking about it again…

chroniclesofcisco:

Guys, it’s been a whirlwind of a week. If this keeps up for much longer, I’ll be known as Cisco the Grey around Central City. To catch up anyone who may have missed it, there was a little episode amongst our team where Barry suddenly lost his powers and Iris got them. It sounds just as weird when I type that out after the fact but when it happened, I was really bugging out. I mean, you can’t just expect someone to be able to harness the immense power of the speed force at the drop of a hat. It was a pretty scary situation…UNTIL COACH CISCO SAVED THE DAY.

When life gives you super speed you make a…well, I don’t really know where I was going with that one. All I know is that crime wasn’t going to stop just because Barry was powerless, so we had to make do with the hand we were dealt – Iris needed a crash course (probably not the best phrase to use) in her newly acquired powers. I’ve picked up a few tricks over the years and felt confident in creating the ultimate training ground for Iris to use on her journey of becoming Central City’s newest speedster.

I meticulously mapped out a course all over the city designed to test all of Iris’s abilities and prepare her for anything that could possibly be thrown her way. We headed over to 5th street, which has been under construction since before I was born. There she could learn to dip, dodge and zip past potholes, obstacles, bystanders and more – this was coming together perfectly. The best part of this course, in my opinion, is the fact that it went right past the newly opened Central City Chili Corner. It’s situated right between the stadium and S.T.A.R. Labs so naturally when I had Iris run into the stadium for a couple laps around the field, I placed an order of chili dogs for her to pick up on her way back to the lab.

“Cisco, what’s the deal with you and junk food?” you may ask. Well first off, let’s just take that j-word and throw it out the window. This food doesn’t deserve to be talked about like that. Second, when you’re carrying the weight of training a new speedster you need some brain fuel so excuse me for trying to support a local business and get some chili up in me. THIRD – and most importantly – I still haven’t gotten my chili dogs. See, Iris aced the course in no time. She’s a natural! I was beyond excited to see her arrive back at the lab so quickly and she didn’t even radio in for advice. But there was one thing missing – my food. She said she left four chili dogs on my desk but there were no dogs…only Harry.  One day I’ll get the respect I deserve around here.

chroniclesofcisco:

Guys, it’s been a whirlwind of a week. If this keeps up for much longer, I’ll be known as Cisco the Grey around Central City. To catch up anyone who may have missed it, there was a little episode amongst our team where Barry suddenly lost his powers and Iris got them. It sounds just as weird when I type that out after the fact but when it happened, I was really bugging out. I mean, you can’t just expect someone to be able to harness the immense power of the speed force at the drop of a hat. It was a pretty scary situation…UNTIL COACH CISCO SAVED THE DAY.

When life gives you super speed you make a…well, I don’t really know where I was going with that one. All I know is that crime wasn’t going to stop just because Barry was powerless, so we had to make do with the hand we were dealt – Iris needed a crash course (probably not the best phrase to use) in her newly acquired powers. I’ve picked up a few tricks over the years and felt confident in creating the ultimate training ground for Iris to use on her journey of becoming Central City’s newest speedster.

I meticulously mapped out a course all over the city designed to test all of Iris’s abilities and prepare her for anything that could possibly be thrown her way. We headed over to 5th street, which has been under construction since before I was born. There she could learn to dip, dodge and zip past potholes, obstacles, bystanders and more – this was coming together perfectly. The best part of this course, in my opinion, is the fact that it went right past the newly opened Central City Chili Corner. It’s situated right between the stadium and S.T.A.R. Labs so naturally when I had Iris run into the stadium for a couple laps around the field, I placed an order of chili dogs for her to pick up on her way back to the lab.

“Cisco, what’s the deal with you and junk food?” you may ask. Well first off, let’s just take that j-word and throw it out the window. This food doesn’t deserve to be talked about like that. Second, when you’re carrying the weight of training a new speedster you need some brain fuel so excuse me for trying to support a local business and get some chili up in me. THIRD – and most importantly – I still haven’t gotten my chili dogs. See, Iris aced the course in no time. She’s a natural! I was beyond excited to see her arrive back at the lab so quickly and she didn’t even radio in for advice. But there was one thing missing – my food. She said she left four chili dogs on my desk but there were no dogs…only Harry.  One day I’ll get the respect I deserve around here.

chroniclesofcisco:

image

So…the past few days haven’t been the brightest S.T.A.R. Labs has ever seen. But hey, if we’ve learned anything it’s that bad can always get badder. The long and short is that Ralph was feeling the feels for one of the bus metas who’s now… gone.  And Barry got put on an “indefinite leave of absence”.  Not from being the Flash, from CCPD.  You know, the gig that pays him and doesn’t involve him nearly dying on the regular.

But fear not, Olympic Cisco was here to brighten everyone’s day. That’s right, sports fans – I am an Olymp-a-ddict of the tallest order. And with the closing ceremonies now in the rear-view, I was jonesing for a fix.  So I figured what better way to feed my need and cheer up my comrades than to organize the inaugural Team Flash Games???

The kickoff event was a luge race in the hamster wheel. I even got Caitlin to ice it down for us. Barry promised not to cheat but I’m pretty sure he went full “kid who opens his eyes during Marco Polo” because he finished in three tenths of a second.

Next up was a freestyle jump off the S.T.A.R. Labs roof. Which may sound like a bad idea, but Ralph stretched into a trampoline for us to land on so it was actually kind of awesome. At least, I thought so. Joe was less amused after he landed on his sidearm.  But whatever, no one told him to go all Macho Man Randy Savage off the top rope.  

Since we were all tied up after the first two events – depending on how you feel about Barry being disqualified from the luge – we went to sudden death: curling. How could that not be the coolest thing since s’mores flavored bubble gum? Well, that question can be answered in one simple word… Harry!

Yes, against my better judgment, I decided to team up with the only man on Earth who may actually posses the ability to make an onion cry. Needless to say it did not go well. After much deliberation, “we” decided that being the sweeper was beneath Harry, even though I explained to him at length that the curler was a far less important job.

When we inevitably lost to Barry and Iris – which I still doubt the legitimacy of – Harry chased me around my workshop with the broom while explaining the elaborate ways he intended to injure me. Until…he slipped on the ice rink that I may or may not have created to perform in unison with American figure skating phenomenon, Nathan Chen. Harry has not woken up from the fall just yet, but I’m fairly certain no stapler, tape-dispenser, pen-cup or other desktop paraphernalia will be safe when he does.  

chroniclesofcisco:

image

So…the past few days haven’t been the brightest S.T.A.R. Labs has ever seen. But hey, if we’ve learned anything it’s that bad can always get badder. The long and short is that Ralph was feeling the feels for one of the bus metas who’s now… gone.  And Barry got put on an “indefinite leave of absence”.  Not from being the Flash, from CCPD.  You know, the gig that pays him and doesn’t involve him nearly dying on the regular.

But fear not, Olympic Cisco was here to brighten everyone’s day. That’s right, sports fans – I am an Olymp-a-ddict of the tallest order. And with the closing ceremonies now in the rear-view, I was jonesing for a fix.  So I figured what better way to feed my need and cheer up my comrades than to organize the inaugural Team Flash Games???

The kickoff event was a luge race in the hamster wheel. I even got Caitlin to ice it down for us. Barry promised not to cheat but I’m pretty sure he went full “kid who opens his eyes during Marco Polo” because he finished in three tenths of a second.

Next up was a freestyle jump off the S.T.A.R. Labs roof. Which may sound like a bad idea, but Ralph stretched into a trampoline for us to land on so it was actually kind of awesome. At least, I thought so. Joe was less amused after he landed on his sidearm.  But whatever, no one told him to go all Macho Man Randy Savage off the top rope.  

Since we were all tied up after the first two events – depending on how you feel about Barry being disqualified from the luge – we went to sudden death: curling. How could that not be the coolest thing since s’mores flavored bubble gum? Well, that question can be answered in one simple word… Harry!

Yes, against my better judgment, I decided to team up with the only man on Earth who may actually posses the ability to make an onion cry. Needless to say it did not go well. After much deliberation, “we” decided that being the sweeper was beneath Harry, even though I explained to him at length that the curler was a far less important job.

When we inevitably lost to Barry and Iris – which I still doubt the legitimacy of – Harry chased me around my workshop with the broom while explaining the elaborate ways he intended to injure me. Until…he slipped on the ice rink that I may or may not have created to perform in unison with American figure skating phenomenon, Nathan Chen. Harry has not woken up from the fall just yet, but I’m fairly certain no stapler, tape-dispenser, pen-cup or other desktop paraphernalia will be safe when he does.  

She will have to speed up to save Central City. Stream the latest on The CW App.

She will have to speed up to save Central City. Stream the latest on The CW App.