Category: breacher

cisco + other earths

I’m cured!

Saw my reflection in my knife. I saw an older man.

His cult of blood-suckers ambushed me! They had me surrounded!

I just wanted to see her again.

Cynthia is very devoted to her job.

Cisco & Breacher in “Null and Annoyed

chroniclesofcisco:

Happy Thanksgiving, COC readers! Now, you’re probably asking: “Cisco, did you recently get hit over the head and forget that Thanksgiving was last week?” First off, how dare you. My mind is a steel trap. But since you asked, Yes… I did get hit on the head fighting inter-dimensional Nazis and it’s a little bit of a sore topic for me.  Okay? But my friends, I’m referring to Thanksgiving on Earth-19 of which I had the honor of celebrating with Gypsy, her family, and her terrifying father….yay!

So, you’re also probably asking: “Cisco, how different is their Thanksgiving from ours?” Think of it like this: If Thanksgiving on Earth-1 is like getting paper cut, then on Earth-19, it’s like getting Tabasco sauce poured in your eyes while being punched in the stomach. Neither is particularly desirable but you’d have to be a special kind of wacko if you think the latter option sounds fun.  

Their Thanksgiving commemorates the day the invading hordes of Plastoids were successfully driven off the planet, ending a decades-long war. It’s somber, heartfelt, and Gypsy’s family takes it very seriously. So, instead of throwing the football around in the yard with dear old dad, all able-bodied family members are expected to head deep into the ancient forest to hunt for a creature that Breacher described as some sort of wolf/jaguar/grizzly bear hybrid. Upon hearing this, I very conveniently pulled a hamstring and offered to stay behind to help Gypsy’s grandmother Debbie prepare for the feast.

Debbie is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G by the way. She reminds me of my own abuela but way more badass. She told me all about the battles she fought in during the war, the piece of shrapnel she still has in her hip, and the time that Breacher wanted to be a professional jazz flute singer. Normally, I would be overjoyed with the thought of holding that kind of information over someone, but this is Breacher we’re talking about and I’d like to remain alive for at least another year.

When Gypsy and the rest of the family made it back from the hunt at sundown, we finally got to the most important part of any holiday: the food. Not to brag, but I brought my A-game with a few crowd-pleasing Earth-1 dishes. A green bean casserole here, some candied yams over there, and a Ramon family specialty: the most delicious mashed potatoes on all 53 Earths. Breacher tried to hide it, but after his fifth helping of my mash potatoes, I could tell I was slowly chipping away his icy cold hatred of me. I was a little disappointed in the lack of a jello salad. Apparently, all gelatinous foods are banned on Earth-19 due to their resemblance of their former oppressors. I’m still wrapping my head around the meaning of the mound of ash in the center of the table. I guess that’s some sort of cornucopia?

All in all, Thanksgiving on Earth-19 was actually kind of fun and Gypsy’s family is great when they aren’t trying to murder you!

Maybe next year, I may even join in on the hunt for that wolf/jaguar/grizzly bear nightmare monster. Fun fact: It tastes like turkey.

chroniclesofcisco:

Happy Thanksgiving, COC readers! Now, you’re probably asking: “Cisco, did you recently get hit over the head and forget that Thanksgiving was last week?” First off, how dare you. My mind is a steel trap. But since you asked, Yes… I did get hit on the head fighting inter-dimensional Nazis and it’s a little bit of a sore topic for me.  Okay? But my friends, I’m referring to Thanksgiving on Earth-19 of which I had the honor of celebrating with Gypsy, her family, and her terrifying father….yay!

So, you’re also probably asking: “Cisco, how different is their Thanksgiving from ours?” Think of it like this: If Thanksgiving on Earth-1 is like getting paper cut, then on Earth-19, it’s like getting Tabasco sauce poured in your eyes while being punched in the stomach. Neither is particularly desirable but you’d have to be a special kind of wacko if you think the latter option sounds fun.  

Their Thanksgiving commemorates the day the invading hordes of Plastoids were successfully driven off the planet, ending a decades-long war. It’s somber, heartfelt, and Gypsy’s family takes it very seriously. So, instead of throwing the football around in the yard with dear old dad, all able-bodied family members are expected to head deep into the ancient forest to hunt for a creature that Breacher described as some sort of wolf/jaguar/grizzly bear hybrid. Upon hearing this, I very conveniently pulled a hamstring and offered to stay behind to help Gypsy’s grandmother Debbie prepare for the feast.

Debbie is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G by the way. She reminds me of my own abuela but way more badass. She told me all about the battles she fought in during the war, the piece of shrapnel she still has in her hip, and the time that Breacher wanted to be a professional jazz flute singer. Normally, I would be overjoyed with the thought of holding that kind of information over someone, but this is Breacher we’re talking about and I’d like to remain alive for at least another year.

When Gypsy and the rest of the family made it back from the hunt at sundown, we finally got to the most important part of any holiday: the food. Not to brag, but I brought my A-game with a few crowd-pleasing Earth-1 dishes. A green bean casserole here, some candied yams over there, and a Ramon family specialty: the most delicious mashed potatoes on all 53 Earths. Breacher tried to hide it, but after his fifth helping of my mash potatoes, I could tell I was slowly chipping away his icy cold hatred of me. I was a little disappointed in the lack of a jello salad. Apparently, all gelatinous foods are banned on Earth-19 due to their resemblance of their former oppressors. I’m still wrapping my head around the meaning of the mound of ash in the center of the table. I guess that’s some sort of cornucopia?

All in all, Thanksgiving on Earth-19 was actually kind of fun and Gypsy’s family is great when they aren’t trying to murder you!

Maybe next year, I may even join in on the hunt for that wolf/jaguar/grizzly bear nightmare monster. Fun fact: It tastes like turkey.

– Are you counting?
– For the next 24 hours, I will be hunting you throughout this city.